Going to Space with the American Museum Of Natural History

Going to outer space just got a while lot easier.

Brooklyn: The Movie

Brooklyn is a love letter to culture shock. Whenever you move, there's going to be at least one moment where you ask yourself, "Why did I ever come here? Life was good at home, why did you have to spit on that and move to this godforsaken place?" Well maybe not those exact thoughts but something along those lines. "Brooklyn" allows you to have those thoughts without feeling guilty in an lovely 1950's throwback.

Ellis is young Irish girl who doesn't seem to be living up to here potential. She's smart and beautiful but she's working in a dead-end job with no significant other to share her life with (Sounds familiar?). So her sister arranges for her to move to 'New York' and see what opportunities await in the New World. But she isn't moving to New York, she's moving to Brooklyn.

Ellis goes through all the motions most of us travelers go through. Excitement, dismay and eventually  happiness. Moving to a new place is hard. Especially, when you have no safety net and are boarding with a bunch of peculiar characters. But like most of us, Ellis finds a way to survive and even flourish. 

That could have been the end of the movie. But why this film is interesting is because it also shows you reverse culture shock. A little bit of when you go back home and realize you may in fact never really be able to go home. Or maybe you can but you have somewhere better to be.

Watch this movie when you are homesick. Or on the road going through the tough of it. It helps to remember these things happen. Its part of the journey, but where you are going is worth it.

Humans Of New York: Divorce to Backpacking

Her previous husband had been a wealthy heir. So she was used to a high lifestyle. But before the pregnancy, she seemed to emphatically enjoy my company. She exuded positivity. We'd go on vacation and she'd say things like: 'Isn't it wonderful here? The air is so nice.' She changed when she got pregnant, but I thought: 'Maybe it's just hormones.' I tried to do the right thing so we got engaged. She needed a very big ring. She'd taken some gemologist courses, so she dragged me around for weeks while she looked for the perfect stone. Then she turned her attention to me. She sent me to a custom tailor. She made me get a $12,000 watch. She was so concerned with appearances. She told everyone that her father was a top executive when I knew he was a middle manager. In retrospect, you can see the patterns, but in the moment you're just like; 'Fuck, hopefully things will go back to normal tomorrow.'

My wife was never happy, and everything had to be adjusted to that situation. In her mind, everyone was always against her. She had a constant sense of victimhood. I saw her journal one day, and without going into detail, I will say it seems that she had a very abusive childhood. But that translated into a non-stop, throbbing anxiety. She'd pick fights with shopkeepers. She went through three different dentists. She made one of them refund her invisible braces because she could see them. Her friendships would last an average of four months before she manufactured a reason to break them off. And she'd always try to get me on her side during these feuds. If I tried to talk reason to her, she'd claim that I was against her too. One day my mother's friend was walking behind my wife on the street, and overheard her talking about getting a divorce. I'd seen up close how vindictive she could be, so I decided to get a lawyer too. We'd signed a prenup, so my lawyer told me that I'd have very little leverage. And I knew my wife would chisel anything she could from me. So my lawyer told me: 'This is going to be extremely tough, and many of my clients can't handle it. But the law allows you to remain in your apartment during the proceeding. If you stay in the house with her, our one bargaining chip will be her desire to get you out of the house.'

I told her I wasn't going to leave the home during the divorce. She tried to scream but I stood my ground. I slept on the couch. She locked herself in the bedroom. Things were so tense that I'd piss in a cup to keep from going to the bathroom. My lawyer told me to record everything. So I kept my iPhone on 'record' while it was in my pocket. One morning I was eating breakfast with my son, and she walks in the kitchen and says to my son: 'Dylan, let's play a game. Let's see if Daddy has a recording device.' Then she came and started going through my pockets. I tried to push her hand away, and she said; 'Dylan come help Mommy search Daddy.' I kept trying to push her hand away, and she started screaming: 'Stop hitting me! Stop hitting me! Put down the scissors! Somebody call the police!' Our nanny ran in the room, sees me holding my wife's arm, and ran to get help. My wife reported domestic violence and filed a restraining order. My hand is shaking just talking about it.

I recently returned from seventeen days of backpacking on the Pacific Crest Trail. I took up backpacking after I got through the divorce. It was my way of regaining some control. After five years of adjusting everything to her, it gave me something to focus on that was only for me. I love to plan the trips. I love to look at the maps, and pick the best trails, and study the elevation profiles so I can choose the campsite with the best view. There is no pressure when I'm backpacking except for the pressure I put on myself. In the city, It seems that I always have a reason for being in a place. I'm in this park right now because my therapy session was half a block away. But when I'm backpacking, the only reason I'm in a place is just to be there. And that's very cathartic.

Human's of New York is one of my favorite Facebook accounts to follow. He's got photo stories down to an art. This one really touched base with me. I love what he says about when you are backpacking, the only reason for being in a place is just to be there. That feeling can be down right therapeutic. Checkout the Humans Of New York website, www.humansofnewyork.com. Better yet, buy the book.

Post Crossing

Postcrossing is an online community of people who love sending and receiving postcards. The idea is pretty simple. For every postcard you send, you receive one. Basically its your chance to be penpals with the world.

I found Postcrossing on a dorm notice board. I walked past it for almost a month before I noticed it. But once I started, I was hooked. I love getting mail. Love it. Getting mail from strangers halfway across the world is even better.

Moving back home to the Bim made me a precious commodity. A lot of the people on Postcrossing are trying to collect postcards from around the world. While its easy to get a letter from Germany or USA. There are way less Bajan postcrossers in circulation, so although I'm not open to private swaps I started getting loads of requests from people around the world, asking for some mail. Honestly, I reject the majority of the private requests. But every once in a while, I'll get a special request which I can't deny.

As you can guess a lot of the people on there are travelers, or travelers at heart who haven't had the opportunity. I've gotten cards from some really random places, with some great stories. I got a post card from an Australian lady, who runs a blog, FlyingFishInc. Its great! She makes postcard art and journals her travels. There's even a post of the envelope she sent me.

If you love postcards or you enjoy traveling and are grounded for a while, join Postcrossing. It will help feed your travel bug for a while. And if you want some inspiration to spice up your postcards check out FlyingFishInc.

Happy Postcrossing.

Occupying Yourself On The Subway

Spending time in a city sometimes means having to spend time on the subway. And anyone who has spent time on the subway knows it can be an incredibly awkward situation. Everyone has somewhere to go, and they are trying to do it as fast as possible. Besides that, you are thrown into a confined space with complete randoms. You don't know anything about the people around you other than what you can see, yet you are knee to knee with the person trying not to invade their personal space. On a basic level, you have to judge the people around you even though you are taught not to judge a book by its cover.

So, you are on the tube and you are alone, have no book and your cell phone has no reception. Basically you've got no escape. Now most of your time is spent avoiding eye contact with the people around you. Here's what I like to do to occupy my time. Make up stories about the other people on the train. Some can be elaborate, others can be simple.

For example, I once 'met' a fellow who was recently divorced, on his way to the Central Park to meet his teenage son. He hasn't  been able to connect with his son. Part of him doesn't really like to talk about his past and his time in Afghanistan and he thinks thats part of the problem. But since the divorce, its become a little easier because he appreciates his time with his son more. Its funny because having to be a parent less has made him into a better dad.

Another time, I 'met' a lady who was going home to order pizza. Because pizza is the best.

I like doing this because it takes people watching to the next level. Everyones got a story and even though you may not be able to ask all of them about their's, nothing should stop you from making up your own. And maybe you can actually do something productive with those snap judgements you've been making about everyone on the subway.

What do you like to do on the train, to occupy your time? Any good stories you've made up about total strangers?

Discover Outdoors

Discover Outdoors is a New York adventure company who organize excursions. They are all about getting outdoors, being active and being adventurous. They've got activities ranging from photography classes in Central Park to African trips to help elephants.

So far I've gone surfing, rock climbing, weekend hikes and even a photography classes. Its a great time, all the hosts I've met so far have been great. One even popped my shoulder back in after I dislocated it. You meet a lot of awesome people and you can have a little adventure right outside the city. Being able to do these trips and get away from the city was a life saver for me. If I couldn't escape the concrete jungle I'd probably have gone crazy.

Even better they do charity work getting city kids active and outdoors. So by supporting them, you  might get a little good karma coming your way. Better yet, if you become a member you get returns on any trips you book for trips later on. Everybody wins. If you live in New York or just visiting and looking for a good time upstate, check them out at Discover Outdoors.